DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my neighbors is an older woman who treats everyone on our street like we are her children.
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She has chastised people about their trash and lawns, and her latest focus is parking.
We live in New York City, and I understand that parking is generally hard to come by, but our block is pretty quiet and many people have driveways.
Over the past few weeks, she’s said something to me four or five times about how I park my car at the curb. She wants people to be as close to each other’s bumpers as possible to ensure we are leaving maximum space for others to park.
Sometimes I just walk away, but yesterday she stopped me and asked if I heard her and if I planned to move my car.
I think this is getting out of hand. What is the best way to ask my overzealous neighbor to take a chill pill?
— Parking Police
DEAR PARKING POLICE: You can tell her that you hear her about whatever gripe she is addressing without changing your action.
What will happen? She will be disappointed as she also discovers that she does not have complete control over the neighborhood.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of the many people who have lost their job this year due to the pushback against diversity, equity and inclusion programs.
I have an advanced degree and decades of experience in my field, and it doesn’t seem to matter. I am having a difficult time finding work in this environment.
What’s worse is that some of my “friends” and colleagues have been saying that they think people of color have been wrongfully advanced and have taken their jobs. Some are questioning my credentials, saying I probably wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did without a handout.
I am shocked. I worked more than 20 years to build to my level. How does this anti-DEI mindset get to wipe out my entire career? What can I do or say to defend myself?
— Under Attack
DEAR UNDER ATTACK: I am sorry that you are in this situation. One thing that is happening is that people don’t understand what DEI programs are for. The notion of leveling the playing field so that people of all backgrounds have a fair chance at opportunities was the driving force behind any of these programs. It was not to give anyone an unfair advantage.
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That said, many people of diverse backgrounds have gotten educated and built their careers dynamically without any added support. People aren’t generally “given” a job; they must earn it. For jobs and programs to be wiped out because some don’t want a woman, person of color, veteran or disabled person to apply seems unfair.
Talk to your friends and colleagues. When on job interviews, tell your story. Let people get a window into who you are and how you have built your life.
When people discover the fullness of others who are different from them, an opportunity arises for them to have a broader understanding of who they are.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.