DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, I had a really embarrassing accident at work. I tripped in the office and split my pants right in front of my colleagues.
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On top of that, I sprained my ankle in the fall, so I had to take some time off to recover.
While I was out, I kept imagining everyone replaying that moment in their minds, and I worried about what they thought of me.
Now that I’m finally cleared to return to the office, I feel a mix of anxiety, dread and self-consciousness. I keep picturing co-workers whispering or laughing behind my back, even though most of them probably don’t even think about it anymore.
The thought of walking back into the office makes me physically tense, and I’ve been considering asking to work from home longer just to avoid facing everyone. I know that it was an accident and everyone has embarrassing moments, but emotionally, I feel like I’m trapped in that one humiliating instant.
I want to be professional and get back into my routine, but I’m not sure how to shake off this embarrassment or rebuild my confidence in front of my co-workers. How can I return to the office without letting this one incident bother me?
— Back To Work
DEAR BACK TO WORK: It is highly unlikely that your co-workers have been fixated on your fall. They should be doing their jobs. Additionally, most people are so self-absorbed that they don’t obsess over other people’s issues.
Go back to work with your head held high. When someone asks how you are doing, give an uplifting report. If someone mentions the fall or you splitting your pants, laugh it off.
It was a moment in the past. Be in the present and get back to work. If you let it go, they will, too.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband recently lost his job. There is a ton of paperwork to fill out, and he is dragging his feet instead of doing it.
Whenever I ask him about it, he blows me off and says I am nagging him.
He has always been the principal breadwinner in our family, and I need him to take this situation seriously. I cannot jump in and handle it all. Some things only he can do.
How can I get him to focus and handle his business? We have three kids, and I need him to step up and figure out his next steps.
— What To Do
DEAR WHAT TO DO: Sit down with your husband again. Tell him you don’t mean to nag; you just want to help.
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Ask him if you can see the paperwork that has to be filled out and help where you are able. In as pleasant a tone as you can muster, urge him to carve out time to make a plan for his next steps so that he can continue to protect the family.
If he needs to apply for unemployment benefits, look it up online and show him the website.
While he may get angry, do whatever steps you can to make it easy for him to complete the tasks at hand.
This is a tense time. Try to stay calm and not to take his snippiness personally.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.