DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are playing favorites with their grandchildren, and it’s becoming more obvious.
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My kids are starting to notice, and it absolutely breaks my heart. For example, my mom buys my sister’s children much more expensive gifts for birthdays and holidays, while my kids get smaller or less thoughtful presents. She also often invites my sister’s kids out to lunches, special outings or shopping trips, but rarely includes mine.
My children have started to ask why grandma doesn’t treat them the same, and I never know what to say without making my parents look bad.
I don’t want to create a family conflict, but I also don’t want my kids growing up feeling less loved or less important than their cousins. Part of me wants to sit down and have an honest conversation with my parents about how this favoritism is affecting my family, but I’m scared it will make things worse.
Should I confront my parents about this or let it go and find other ways to reassure my children that they are equally valued and loved?
— Playing Favorites
DEAR PLAYING FAVORITES: You should speak to your parents and point out your concerns. Tell them that your children have noticed that their grandparents do not treat all of the grandchildren the same, and their feelings are hurt. Ask them to be more mindful of how they treat all the children.
Be prepared to distract your children from their grandparents’ favoritism, though, as you have no control over it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been working in corporate America in finance for the past six years, and while I’ve learned a lot and grown professionally, I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit. I love the idea of creating something of my own, being my own boss and building a business that reflects my passions and values.
The problem is that I have no clue where to start. I don’t know how to come up with a viable business idea, figure out funding or navigate all the logistics involved in launching a company.
I’m also nervous about leaving the security of a steady paycheck and benefits, and I worry about failing or making mistakes that could set me back financially.
At the same time, I feel like I’ve been putting this dream on hold for too long, and I don’t want to regret never taking the leap. How do I begin exploring entrepreneurship when I have so many questions and fears? What are the first steps I should take to turn my dream into a reality?
— Dreaming
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DEAR DREAMING: I want to push back a bit and ask you: What exactly is your dream? What you describe is a vague desire to have a business. In order to be a successful entrepreneur, you need to have a burning desire to do something specific. That fire inside then will drive you to figure out all of the details.
To learn more about entrepreneurship, you can take a class or read books that describe what to do.
You may also want to consider pursuing a hobby, volunteering or joining a not-for-profit board, something that expands your horizons but also allows you to stay in your corporate job. That could be great, too.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.