DEAR MISS MANNERS: I often have lunch at fast-food restaurants. I will get five or six packets of hot sauce from the self-serve area, and when I’m finished with lunch, I return the unopened packets to where I got them.
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Sometimes I get bad looks from people for doing this.
What is the etiquette for this? Should I just trash any unopened sauce packets?
GENTLE READER: Either solution is acceptable to etiquette, but this is not one you are going to win, no matter what you do.
Half of the restaurant will lecture you about the waste of throwing away the unused packets — never mind that the packets are tiny. The other half will lecture you about its being unsanitary to return them — never mind that they are sealed, and that they were likely stored in far less sanitary circumstances in the warehouse before they made it to the self-serve area.
But Miss Manners has a question for you: Given that the portions of everything are identical from meal to meal, would it not be simpler to decide, once and for all, how many packets you need?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at the dentist, having a cleaning, when the dentist and the hygienist began a detailed conversation about their plans for the weekend.
One said something funny and I chuckled — as much as one can with tools in one’s mouth — at which point a pause in their conversation led me to believe I had committed a faux pas by eavesdropping.
In the future, should I pretend to be part of the furniture?
GENTLE READER: Or more like a plant being pruned or watered?
Miss Manners suspects that the dentist and hygienist, just like all those people yelling into their phones in public and then glaring at passersby, indeed thought you were eavesdropping.
You were not.
In fact, you may have done them a favor by reminding them that someone else was present. Otherwise, they may have gone on to say something terrible, thinking their patient was under anesthesia.
If this happens to you again, pretend you were coughing and that you need a rinse.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What should my mannered response be to a co-worker’s sneeze? And what should my response be to those who say “God bless you” to me after I’ve sneezed?
Not wanting to perpetuate religious superstition, I say nothing when a co-worker sneezes. That doesn’t bother me much, but not acknowledging their good graces when I’ve sneezed does strike me as rude.
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I’ve never explained myself to my co-workers, and none have ever brought it up to me, but am sure it’s been noticed that I seem to be lacking in this area of politeness.
GENTLE READER: Do you also examine each morning to decide if it will be a good one before issuing your daily greeting?
Some conventions are usually just meant as conventions. “Bless you” is less disruptive than “Are you OK?” And the polite response is “Thank you.”
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.