DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss recently started following me on social media.
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At first I didn’t think much of it, but now he comments on nearly everything I post: pictures of my dog, updates from family events, even casual things like a photo of my dinner.
What started out as a harmless interaction is beginning to feel invasive, like my boss has a window into parts of my life I’d rather keep separate from work.
I try to keep my posts light and respectful, but I also use social media to connect with friends and share personal opinions that don’t have anything to do with my job.
Knowing that my boss is not only watching but actively chiming in makes me feel self-conscious and even a little judged. At the same time, I don’t want to block or restrict him and risk looking unprofessional, unfriendly or like I have something to hide.
I feel caught between wanting to preserve healthy boundaries and worrying about how my boss might interpret it if I distance myself online.
How do I handle this situation without damaging my professional relationship or my peace of mind?
— Social Conflict
DEAR SOCIAL CONFLICT: It would be awkward to ask your boss to stop observing or posting on your page. Don’t do that. Simply be mindful of what you post, as you should be doing anyway.
You know he is looking, and others are, too. Don’t post anything that could compromise your job, your integrity or your professional relationships. Avoid posting anything that could hurt you down the line.
Here’s some advice to everyone: Do not post anything in haste, when intoxicated or when emotionally charged. It could backfire.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My manager has a habit of scheduling meetings that often run long, and they frequently overlap with other commitments on my calendar.
Most of the time, these overlapping commitments are networking chats with colleagues. I know that my primary responsibility is to prioritize my manager and my team’s work, but I feel like I’m constantly in the awkward position of having to cancel or reschedule those networking meetings at the last minute.
It’s especially uncomfortable when I have to push back on someone’s time just minutes before the meeting starts; I worry it makes me look unprofessional or like I don’t value that person’s time.
At the same time, I don’t want my boss to think I’m unwilling to be flexible since I understand things come up and meetings don’t always run on schedule.
How can I bring this up with my manager in a way that’s respectful but still communicates that these constant conflicts are putting me in a tough spot? I want to make sure I’m being a team player while also protecting my professional reputation and relationships outside of my team.
— Establishing Boundaries
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DEAR ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES: You have noticed a pattern with your boss, so, for starters, schedule your networking meetings an hour later than you have been in order to give yourself a buffer.
You can also speak to your boss to say that you have made plans on particular days or evenings and you will have to leave even if a meeting runs long. Do your best to manage your time by sharing your calendar early on.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.