DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a huge family and a long list of friends I’ve built over the years from college, work, my sorority, my neighborhood, community clubs, church and so much more.
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As my husband and I were planning our wedding, we realized our guest list was way too long, and my process of elimination was based on current social proximity — meaning how close I am with a person now.
A friend I grew up with, someone I still love but just don’t see or speak with frequently, reached out to me after the wedding to tell me off.
Even after she’d heard about invitations being sent out, she assumed hers was just a bit delayed. She accused me of being pretentious and thinking that I am better than our childhood friends.
How do I respond to a message like this? She’s totally wrong about my reasoning, and while I still have love for her, I shouldn’t have to explain my life choices to someone who harbors so much animosity.
— Guest List
DEAR GUEST LIST: Your childhood friend’s feelings are hurt. She lashed out in an inappropriate manner, but hopefully you can see through that.
Call her back and apologize for not being able to invite her to your wedding. Tell her that as much as you wanted to include everyone who has been close to you in your life, you did not have the space or budget to do so. You had to make tough decisions in limiting your guest list to your current closest friends and family. Tell her you did not mean to hurt her or any others from your childhood.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling to get my health on track. My doctor has warned me that I am prediabetic.
I have seen other people my age who have diabetes and some of the side effects that come with it when treatment and diet are not taken seriously, but for some reason, that doesn’t seem to be enough for me to change my own ways.
I don’t really eat many sweets, but I think my affinity for pizza, pasta, bagels and other carb-heavy foods is the real culprit.
Since I got this health update, I’ve tried to make some changes, but I fall right back into my old habits and cravings. I am often thinking about what I will eat next.
Do I have a food addiction? I am afraid that I can’t get a handle on my own eating habits even for my own good.
— Health on the Line
DEAR HEALTH ON THE LINE: Changing habits is hard for everyone. Your food cravings are real, and they need to be addressed. The good news is that you are aware of this.
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Ask your doctor to refer you to a dietitian who can help you map out your meals and create discipline in your eating. Give yourself grace as you change your habits, but do take this seriously. The alarm has rung that you are prediabetic. Work as hard as you can now to avoid having full-blown diabetes later. Have you explored with your doctor taking any of the newer weight loss drugs out there?
You may also want to get a therapist to help you sort through your relationship to food. If you do have a food addiction, the professional can help you deal with that.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.