DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a fine artist, with a studio attached to my home. Friends and visitors often ask to see the studio, and I am happy to oblige.
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Sometimes, a visitor will ask how much a particular piece costs. This puts me on the spot. I usually say, “Well, I would normally charge $300 for that painting, but with my ‘friends and family’ discount, I would charge $150.”
On a few occasions, I’ve had a visitor who looks aghast and murmurs something to the effect of “I didn’t think it would be so expensive.”
Miss Manners, I do not know how to respond! I have already halved the price (which is never outlandish to begin with), and am now made to feel I’m being greedy or unreasonable. My reaction has been a strained smile and some breezy comment about how the piece was particularly time-consuming, etc., but by then the atmosphere has changed, and is difficult to undo.
Am I being rude? Should I have declined to discuss prices in this context? I suspect my guest has been rude by implying my work is not worth the (discounted!) price.
How can I handle this situation more politely in the future?
GENTLE READER: Although the studio is adjacent to your home, you keep it separate for a reason (less paint in the yogurt). Miss Manners wonders if your guests need more space between their slightly impertinent question and the implied sales pitch of your answer: They may have asked the price out of mere curiosity.
Either tell them you have not yet set a price, or, if you think they are serious about a purchase, tell them that you would sell it to a commercial dealer for $300 — with an emphasis on the word “commercial” that invites them to ask a further question.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I beg for guidance on the proper etiquette with one’s cutlery at hotel buffet breakfasts.
While there are abundant clean plates, the protocol seems to be that one has but a single set of cutlery. Perhaps this is to shame one into avoiding gluttonous behavior.
However, when moving from bacon and eggs to toast or muffins, how should one get a clean knife? The knife and fork disappear in the hands of the waitstaff. Asking for new ones is rarely met with a gracious response from the (admittedly busy) servers.
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GENTLE READER: Is this a trick question, Miss Manners wonders?
One gets a new knife and fork by requesting them, an answer that does not depend on whether those previously supplied were made dirty by yourself or an unnamed third party.
As to whether the staff is spending breakfast judging you, she cannot say for certain, but suspects they have better things to occupy their thoughts — such as when this meal service is finally going to be over.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.